Last night it occurred to me: I wonder if my girls remember what it was like for me to hold them, like really hold them. I did it so often when they were small, there was usually always one of them on me at all times. I remember it so vividly-the weight of them on my thighs, the press of their chest against mine, the smell of them, the quiet our embrace evoked.
Reading your post this week reminded me that I wanted to respond to your last post-- but both have themes that are current events for me. My elder daughter will turn 15 on Wednesday. Our relationship is fine, even good, although I am somewhat envious of my bestie, who goes on and on about how close she and her teenage daughter are; how terrific she is; how she cooks for whole family; blah blah. Anyway, like you, Amye, thinking of how close my daughter and I once were until she was about 12 kinda breaks my heart. I mean, if missing being worshipped by my young child makes me narcissistic, well, I guess the shoe fits. I was always her "sweet Mama" and she wanted to do everything and go everywhere with me all the time. It's just one of those situations that I think you referenced in a recent podcast... that you just don't know when the last time will be for any of those sweet Moments. Anyway, I too remember what it was like to hold little M; it's muscle memory for sure. Thanks so much for your reflections on these themes.
Reading your post this week reminded me that I wanted to respond to your last post-- but both have themes that are current events for me. My elder daughter will turn 15 on Wednesday. Our relationship is fine, even good, although I am somewhat envious of my bestie, who goes on and on about how close she and her teenage daughter are; how terrific she is; how she cooks for whole family; blah blah. Anyway, like you, Amye, thinking of how close my daughter and I once were until she was about 12 kinda breaks my heart. I mean, if missing being worshipped by my young child makes me narcissistic, well, I guess the shoe fits. I was always her "sweet Mama" and she wanted to do everything and go everywhere with me all the time. It's just one of those situations that I think you referenced in a recent podcast... that you just don't know when the last time will be for any of those sweet Moments. Anyway, I too remember what it was like to hold little M; it's muscle memory for sure. Thanks so much for your reflections on these themes.